


Why are we rescuing Peter again?

by PotentialOfSurprise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Kidnapped Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22389520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotentialOfSurprise/pseuds/PotentialOfSurprise
Summary: Getting kidnapped the second time in one week was kind of embarrassing, even for Peter's standards. So he decides to make the best of it and annoy his captor as much as possible in the process.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 352





	Why are we rescuing Peter again?

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in quite a while. This is a oneshot that just popped into my brain.  
> I hope you guys like it! Don't expect too much of it :)

One might argue that things didn't go as planned. Peter however does not agree with that statement. If you asked him this was just a ‘minor setback’ or ‘unfortunate delay’. Yeah, Tony would probably describe it more as a ‘how the fuck did you manage to get yourself kidnapped twice in one week’ or ‘stop almost giving me heart attacks’ kind of situation. 

But that’s all not really important. What is important is that Peter was.. thinking about it Peter wondered where the frick he actually was at the moment. Steve had probably told him during the briefing but Peter had gotten distracted by the meme that Shuri had texted him.  
At this point in time Peter was just annoyed. Being kidnapped was not his favorite way of passing time, somehow villains never understood the concept of personal space. 

“Can I have like a sandwich or something, pretty sure the oompa loompa over there stole my mission snacks” The butcher, as Peter had nicknamed the guy who appeared to be in charge, looked over at his assistant who backed away instantly.  
“Get him some food and bring the camera and the tools” The butcher barked out the orders before turning back to Peter. 

A few minutes later the assistant hurried back in with a sandwich and tray of tools. Peter chewed away on his sandwich as he watched the butcher pick up several tools.  
“You should really invest more money if you’re planning on torturing someone. These all look like they were on sale at Costco’s” Peter chomped down the rest of the sandwich.  
“So like a question. Does every villain have a secret stash of Nutella or is this just my lucky day? Asking for future reference you know”  
“Shut up” The butcher spat (what did I just tell you about personal space) in Peter’s face. 

“Now you are going to tell that Tony Stark that he needs to transfer fifty grand into an overseas account” The butcher explained.  
“Fifty grand? You wound me, man. I am easily worth double. If not triple. Well maybe not seeing as mister Stark will be very pissed at me. You know maybe he doesn’t even want me back. I mean who knows” Peter shrugged as he looked over at the assistant now holding the camera ready.  
“Can you film me from the right? I had an unfortunate mishap with a light pole the other day. Now I have this weird bump on my head that makes me look like an egg from the left” Peter reminisced. 

As the assistant started filming the butcher adjusted his mask and stepped in front of the camera.  
“We have a very important message for you which I am sure you’re willing to watch Stark” The butcher stepped out of view to reveal Peter.  
After a few minutes the butcher seemed to get impatient and poked what looked like a screwdriver in Peter’s side.  
“Oh it’s my turn? You were doing so well I didn’t want to steal your spotlight.” Peter turned from the man to look directly into the camera.

“Hey mister Stark it’s me. I’m not really used to being on camera so I’m not sure how to do this. Oh you know I just ate a really good sandwich, which reminds me that you should stock up more Nutella. I’m pretty sure Thor secretly eats the whole jar at night along with the pop tarts.”  
Peter hissed as he was electrocuted with an upgraded version of the screw driver from before “You upgraded your tools for me? I’m shocked” Peter turned back to the camera “Get it mister Stark? Shocked. Because he just shocked me. That was a pretty good pun right?” Peter asked the assistant holding the camera.  
“Okay turn it off this is useless, I need better tools” The butcher groaned in frustration as he called over two guards “Get this idiot back to a cell” 

Peter was sitting cross legged in his cell a few hours later when the avengers came in to save him. Steve barged through the door but stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw Peter “But- what- ” Tony walked into the door while the iron suit was unwrapping itself from his body “What the fuck is going on here?” 

“Well mister stark I was actually just hitting the high score on flappy bird so if you could wait for like a second” Peter stuck out his tongue in concentration as he tapped on his phone. “Steve remind me again why I wanted to start this rescue mission” Tony kicked open the cell door and started dragging Peter out by his ear. “Ouch mister Stark I can walk” Peter moaned in discomfored as he was dragged out of the lair. 

They passed Natasha who was currently ‘interviewing’ the assistant. “Oh hey see you later. And can you tell butcher guy that he needs to get some decent wifi down here, reception is terrible” Peter waved at the assistant as he stumbled to keep up with Tony who was still holding his ear.


End file.
